Sinking inside

I haven't talked to Brandon since the argument and now I'm worried and I miss him....I want to tell him how I'm scared i may be pregnant and how I can't trust guys because of the past...how I only want him to see me...how I fear he'll leave me because I'm flawed......I'm all alone in my head...letting him in is so hard and yet it seems like it's the thing i should do. Easier said than done...I really just want to let the scared girl go and embrace the love but something tells me I'll never be happy and somehow I know that's true...I think I'll call him and talk to him have to see him tonite.....Well I think Chris red. got the clap from Leon....OK since when dose warming lube get inside of a guy's penis? then he gets spermicide inside there too! both times it burned...well seems like something else is going on I wonder how Leon would handle it if he got it.....hmmmm...well gotta go bye